Just Stay in Bed!!!

Why can't there be some things that our children are just born knowing how to do?

Something they know right off the bat will be vital to their survival in this world?

Like picking up their rooms or brushing their teeth.

I mean, they were born with the ability to cry when they're hungry, uncomfortable, or when there is something wrong.

Why can't that inbred nature extend to other things in life?

Like staying in bed at bedtime, for example.

Why can't children, especially 2 year old little boys, just know that when put into bed they must stay there?

It's not a hard thing to do.

So why can't it just come naturally?

Why do we as parents have to suffer day after day, night after night to teach a skill that comes automatically to most other species?

I'm just asking because in my house it's a skill that would come in handy if a little person wanted to live to see their next birthday.

Because, when I say bed time, what I actually mean is: go to sleep now or die.

My 5 year old seemed to understand that almost instantly.

I can't remember fighting with him for days on end to get the concept.

It was just there.

Like magic.

By day 3 he knew Mommy wasn't playing around.

(Or maybe he could sense his impending doom and didn't think it was worth the risk).

Whatever reason, he knew and behaved.

End of discussion.

My 2 (well, soon to be 2) year old, doesn't seem to have that same innate instinct for his survival the way my older son did.

Maybe I've made his life too comfortable?

Maybe I've lapsed on my disciplining skills over the years?

Maybe he acts just like his father and I really have nothing to do with it?!

(I, personally, like that last one the best. So that's the one I'm going with.)

Whatever the reason, this...demonic little boy can't seem to get that his life is in serious danger every time he makes the decision to crawl out of bed after bedtime.

Repeatedly.

For hours.

He also doesn't seem to understand that every time I place him back into the bed after one of his repeated escapes, his chances of survival get dramatically lower.

We're talking almost non existent.

Microscopic.

I mean, really?

How many times do you need to be punished before the thought dawns on you that if you stay where you're placed, you wont keep getting in trouble?

He knew what a cookie was without too much help.

He learned how to take down the baby gates with no instruction.

He has even demonstrated the ability to remove his clothing and undergarments without prompting.

(To know more about that joyous little experience look here.)

Le sigh.

I don't remember being such a horrible youngster that I deserved to grow up to have a child behaving the way this one does.

This was supposed to be my brothers punishment, not mine.

He was the bad one.

For now however, I'm going to enjoy the fact that the angelic-faced horror seems to have gotten the hint and stayed his cute butt in bed.

And is allowing me to enjoy this glass of Pepsi undisturbed...

*Loud crash from the bedroom*

...Never mind.