The Kindergarten Room Mom

Just like the end of every school year, I find this one to be bittersweet.

My son is now home with me, I'll now have a lot of time to spend with him, and I can sleep in again. But now my days will be busier, crazier, and louder.

There are some things though, that the end of the school year couldn't have brought fast enough. Warm weather, the beach, a new wardrobe, and the end of the daily encounters with the kindergarten Room Mom.

You know the one I'm talking about. The one whose always there, always prepared, and always helping. Whose children can do no wrong, so she looks at you like you're the worst parent in the world when yours gets the red card for behavior that day.

Well, this year at school, I've had that room mom and she's made every day an unforgettable experience.

I can't remember a time when I haven't seen her and her look of absolute pity because my son's hair isn't combed...again. (More about that here).

But what really gets me is that when most of the room moms you meet are extremely overly perky, dressed to the hilt, and incredibly annoying (picture June Cleaver in a classroom), my son's Room Mom is the complete opposite.

Take, for example, the fact that she has the uncanny ability to give you chills with a single glance.

Even as an adult, when I walk into the classroom and she looks at me, I'm scared senseless (and that fear becomes twice as bad if I'm walking into the room late for any reason).


Or that, in the however-many-months that my son was in kindergarten, I've never seen the woman smile.

Not once.

Instead, she's always had this look of absolute contempt on her face; like my mother used to when I'd done something horribly wrong and was going to be paying for it the rest of my life. She'd look at me in the hallways and I could feel my insides shrivel.

It's also noteworthy that I don't think she owns a pair of blue jeans; it was always sweatpants and a baggy shirt/sweatshirt.

Every. Single. Day.

(Not that I can say much. If I was able to pull off only wearing my jammies everywhere I went, you can bet your next house payment I would be!)

But it's not the clothes, the hair, the smile (or lack there of). I think what I find most interesting is that, despite her appearance and lack of social graces, that she made me feel completely inadequate at being a mother.

Now, I'm a hard person to intimidate.

I admit to having great self confidence, good people skills, and an upbeat personality that has won me many things. But when it comes to this woman, I feel like I've dropped the ball in every area of life outside of personal grooming!

AND I DON'T KNOW HOW SHE DOES IT!!!

I've never been late with the class snack. Never. I've always remembered my turn (even if I didn't remember until that morning and had to run to the store before school...but I always remembered!!!).

I've also been to every single party/event that the school or the class has thrown for parents. I was also on time everyday to pick my son up.

I've done it all right, so I don't know what my problem is.

But she just has this vibe about her that makes me feel like I'm an concomitant child. Which only makes me wonder more how the kids felt about her being in their class.

Which, side note, was fine. My son loved her...and for that matter the teacher seemed to too.

So it might just be me (but, in my defense, I've never seen her talk to another parent).

But the school year is over and I can now spend the summer recouping from my daily dose of humility and praying hard that her son isn't in Tyler's class next year.

Perhaps I need to light a candle...