Wow! So much has happened since I last posted.
So much has changed.
I found a wonderful church that has welcomed me with open arms and allowed me to deepen my relationship with Heavenly Father. Something I've struggled with for years.
Two seasons have come and gone; ones that were filled with memories and great times, even if the weather didn't always hold up to my expectations.
And now my child filled, crazy mornings (which I could never decide if I was happy about or completely overwhelmed by) have quieted down to a few peaceful hours of alone time.
Yes, the little terror that is one of the biggest blessings in my life has started preschool!
We are three weeks into this glorious routine and I have discovered something; I have been forever changed by the chaotic-ness that is motherhood and probably not in the way we mothers would expect.
I believe I have Parenting PTSD.
Now, before you get all "that is a serious disorder and you shouldn't be making light of it", I agree with you and as a Human Service Major I would never do such a thing.
(And if you worry that you or someone you know may be suffering from PTSD please find a trained professional who can help. Getting treatment is far better than struggling. You can also check out The National Center for PTSD for more information).
But the kind of PTSD I'm talking about is one caused by the constant need to be on alert as a parent.
Even though in my mind that I'm the only one here I still find myself jumping in panic when I realize it's been quiet for too long, or feeling absolutely horrible when I see that it's 11:00 and I haven't offered a snack or started on lunch yet, and I still mentally plan out when will be the best time to jump in the shower so L isn't running around unattended (not only for his safety but also because I don't think my house would recover).
My children, especially my youngest, have warped me.
And the best part about it all is that I know just about the time I start actually relaxing into this child-free morning thing, another snowpocalypse will hit and they will both be home for extended snow days.
So goes life.
*I know all you parents have gone through this a time or two. Tell me your stories!