The Man Diet

I'm sure by now just about everyone has heard the term "the man cold". The common cold that turns anyone with a "y" chromosome over the age of 18 into a newborn puppy who needs it's mother.

My husband gets these "man colds".

At least once a year he's couch-bound and whining like he's knocking on death's door (and as pathetic as it is I do tend to find some entertainment in the behavior, not that I'll admit that to him).

Well, I've recently come to realize that this is actually a trend with my husband. He has this ability to throw himself  into something and expect the entire world to follow suit (and be happy about it) and for some reason we do...

For example a few years ago, after much urging, my husband decided to "start eating healthy." I.e. He went on what I like to call the "Man Diet".

Where he counted calories, ate only the portion limits on bags, consumed no red meats and had nothing but water after 3:00pm (which worked for him because at the time he'd be in bed at 7ish to wake up around 3:00am for work).

It was wonderful (Truly).

At the announcement I was thrilled. He had finally taken his health into consideration and I no longer had to worry about him having a heart attack at the age of 30.

What I didn't realize at the time was that it meant he expected the rest of the family to "start eating healthy" as well.

And that drove me bonkers.

He'd tell me what I could and could not put on the weekly menu. Then he'd get on my case if I decide to have a second turkey wrap at dinner time or if I put too many baked lays in my bowl to watch a movie...

I called him the Food Nazi. He was always on pizza patrol.

And, thinking back, I believe the reason it irritated me so much was because when I'd had a baby the year before I was on a diet all that summer to lose the weight, and I'd had no help from him.

He still wanted Chinese food.

He still went to McDonald's for dinner on Friday nights.

He still wanted me to make all his favorite fatty food dishes for him at supper, all the while knowing I was trying to watch what I ate. And that also meant it would drive me crazy when I got to enjoy watching him down a brownie after dinner.

Jerk.

So, like I said now that it was his turn, he felt the entire household needed to jump on board and help him out (just like when he's sick). Heaven forbid he'd've been tempted by the bowl of ice-cream I gave my 4 year old or the bag of peanut M&M's I got myself on the first day of my period.

But don't get me wrong, I had no problem putting healthier ingredients into my meals, I didn't mind buying healthier snacks, nor did I mind learning the healthier ways to cook for my family.

That aspect of it was a great learning experience for me and I'm able to use those skills now to make sure my whole family is eating the right way, but at the time I did mind is being told what to do.

I was very happy he'd made the decision and I supported him 100%, but I did my time. I was ready to get back to enjoying food again.

And purhaps it's not just my husband, purhaps it's a man thing. That "y" chromosome in over drive whenever they get involved with something, no matter what it is; being sick, dieting, working on cars...they do seem to go all out and expect it to become the next great family activity...

But if I do have to say, if he ever decides he wants to diet again and I want to grab myself some cookies after a long day of dealing with kids, I'd much rather have them with milk than a lecture.